Suicide Prevention: Myths, Facts, and How to Help Someone Who May Be Struggling
Blog written by: Analyn Einarson Ph.D. (she/her), Crisis Program Manager at Klinic
September is Suicide Prevention Month
Talking about suicide can feel uncomfortable. Many people worry that they will say the wrong thing, make the situation worse, or simply will not know what to do if someone says they are thinking about suicide.
But we do not need perfect words to have an important conversation.
Knowing some basic facts, asking directly, listening without judgment, and helping someone connect with appropriate support can make a meaningful difference.
MYTH: Asking someone about suicide will put the idea into their head.
FACT: Asking directly about suicide does not cause someone to become suicidal.
If you are concerned about someone, it is okay to ask clearly:
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
Avoiding the word can sometimes communicate that suicide is too frightening or shameful to discuss. Asking directly gives the person permission to tell you what is really happening.
MYTH: People who talk about suicide are just looking for attention.
FACT: Any communication about suicide should be taken seriously.
A person may talk about suicide directly or indirectly. They might say they cannot keep going, that others would be better off without them, that they feel trapped, or that they see no way out.
Rather than deciding whether someone “really means it,” listen and explore what they are experiencing.
A person asking for attention may actually be asking for something every human being needs: connection, support, safety, and to know that their distress matters.
MYTH: If someone is suicidal, they definitely want to die.
FACT: Suicidal thoughts and crises can involve profound ambivalence.
A person may feel unable to tolerate their current pain while another part of them still wants help, connection, relief, or another possibility.
That is one reason conversation matters.
Do not argue with the person about whether their life is good or tell them what they “have to live for.” Become curious about what has brought them to this point and what might help them remain safe right now.
MYTH: Only people with a diagnosed mental illness become suicidal.
FACT: Suicide is complex and rarely has a single cause.
Mental health concerns can contribute to suicide risk, but people may experience suicidal thoughts in the context of grief, trauma, relationship breakdown, violence, discrimination, financial stress, chronic pain, substance use, isolation, major life changes, or combinations of many factors.
Avoid assuming you know why someone is suicidal. Ask.
MYTH: Once someone decides to die by suicide, nothing can stop them.
FACT: Suicide risk can change, and timely support and intervention matter.
A suicidal crisis can feel permanent while it is happening, even when circumstances and feelings can change.
The immediate goal does not have to be solving the person’s entire life.
Sometimes the first goal is much smaller:
How do we help this person remain safe through this moment and connect them with the support they need next?
How to Help Someone in Person
If you are worried about someone, begin with connection.
Tell them what you have noticed:
“I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately, and I’m worried about you.”
Then ask directly:
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
If they say yes, try not to panic or immediately begin giving advice.
Listen.
You might say:
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I’m glad you told me.”
“I want to understand what you’re going through.”
Ask enough questions to understand the immediate situation. Are they in immediate danger? Have they been thinking about how they might die? Do they have access to the means they are considering? Have they already taken steps toward suicide? What has helped them stay alive until now? Who else can help support them?
If there appears to be immediate danger, do not leave the person alone while appropriate emergency or crisis support is being arranged.
Whenever possible, involve the person in decisions about what happens next. Suicide prevention should preserve dignity and autonomy as much as safety allows.
And remember: you do not have to manage a suicidal crisis by yourself.
Helping Someone Over the Telephone
Supporting someone experiencing suicidal thoughts by telephone requires many of the same skills, but the telephone creates additional challenges.
You cannot necessarily see the person’s environment, body language, injuries, level of intoxication, access to lethal means, or who else may be nearby.
That makes careful listening and clear questions especially important.
Start by establishing connection.
Slow the conversation down.
Listen not only to what the caller says, but also to changes in their tone, responsiveness, level of distress, confusion, hopelessness, agitation, and ability to engage with you.
Ask directly about suicide when indicated:
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
If the answer is yes, continue the conversation rather than immediately moving into reassurance or problem-solving.
Explore what is happening now. Depending on the situation and your role, important questions can include whether the person has a suicide plan, access to the means they are considering, a timeframe or intention to act, recent attempts or preparatory behaviour, substance use, whether they are alone, and what has helped keep them safe so far.
But suicide intervention is more than completing a checklist.
Listen for the person’s story.
What happened today?
Why tonight?
What has become unbearable?
What made them pick up the telephone?
That last question can be especially important. Calling may itself tell us that there is a part of the person seeking connection, help, safety, or another option.
Work collaboratively toward the next safe step. That could involve reducing access to lethal means, moving to a safer environment, contacting someone the caller trusts, developing a short-term safety plan, connecting with crisis or health services, or arranging emergency intervention when necessary.
Do not promise secrecy if someone’s safety may require additional intervention.
And do not underestimate the value of staying emotionally present.
The person on the other end of the telephone may not remember every question you asked.
They may remember that when they finally said, “I’m thinking about killing myself,” someone did not panic, shame them, lecture them, or disappear.
Someone stayed.
What Not to Say
Try to avoid responses such as:
“You have so much to live for.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“Think about what this would do to your family.”
“You wouldn’t actually do that.”
“You’re just having a bad day.”
Instead, communicate curiosity, compassion, and seriousness:
“That sounds incredibly painful.”
“Tell me more about what’s been happening.”
“When did you start feeling like you couldn’t keep going?”
“I’m concerned about your safety, and I want to stay with you while we figure out what might help next.”
You Do Not Need to Be a Crisis Counsellor to Start the Conversation
Suicide prevention belongs to all of us.
You do not need to diagnose someone.
You do not need to have perfect words.
And you do not need to solve another person’s life.
Notice.
Ask.
Listen.
Take the answer seriously.
Stay connected.
Help the person reach appropriate support.
And if you are the person struggling, you deserve the same compassion we encourage you to offer someone else.
Reaching out is not a failure. Sometimes a telephone call, conversation, or moment of connection becomes the bridge between an unbearable moment and what comes next.
To Those Who Answer Crisis Lines
During World Suicide Prevention Month, we also recognize the crisis counsellors, volunteers, supervisors, team leads, and others who answer crisis and suicide-prevention lines.
You meet people in moments most of the world never sees.
You listen.
You assess.
You ask difficult questions.
You sit with uncertainty.
You help people find their next safe step.
And sometimes you stay on the telephone simply so another human being does not have to be alone in one of the hardest moments of their life.
Thank you for answering.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for the care, skill, judgment, and humanity you bring to this work.
Every conversation matters.
Klinic Resources
Manitoba Suicide Prevention & Support Line
24/7 help for anyone thinking of suicide, affected by suicide, or supporting others thinking of suicide. We can find someone who speaks your language to help interpret. We offer over 175 languages.
Call: 1-877-435-7170 (free from anywhere)
9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline
24/7 support for anyone thinking about suicide or if you’re worried about someone. Support is trauma-informed and culturally affirming. It is available in both English and French.
Text: 9-8-8
Phone: 9-8-8
If there is immediate danger, please call 911.
